Mr. Bromance and his elite bromance buddies (aka "The Gentlemen") get together every Saturday at the same rinky dink breakfast place where they get waited on almost weekly by the same beautiful, tan, petite, 21 year old waitress (they request her section to sit in). They also have hung out with her outside of her work. Without their girlfriends around. How gentlemanly. Although I have heard from reliable resources that she is a very nice girl and has only been innocent in her extracurricular hang-out-with-other-girl's-boyfriends time, for the purpose of this blog, she will be referred to as "Breakfast Slut".
After the breakup, I attempted to erase him and every memory of him from my life. Breakfast with the girls was on that list. However, after careful consideration I decided to keep breakfast going, despite Breakfast Slut and the origins of its creation. Admittedly, the idea was a good one, and unlike the gentleman, we try out different restaurants all over Seattle and the Eastside. We also don't restrict to clique members and welcome any girls who wanted to come. I guess you could say it was something good that came out of the relationship. I'd encourage all ladies of all ages to try this out - it's a good way to get out of bed on the weekend, meet, and keep in touch with girl friends!
Boys became the inevitable topic which lead to a supportive conversation that inspired me to create a profile on a dating website. Now, I am still serious about my six month commitment (which was created at the last girl's brunch), but in the past, technically six weeks that I have been single, I haven't even so much as talked to a non-friend guy. So with the encouragement of my breakfast girls, I signed up on a free site, just to chat with boys. I pretty much have only ever dated guys I've been friends with for a while first, so the whole internet thing is new to me.
- Three of the five pictures you've posted are of your dog. Not you with your dog. Just your dog. I don't give a rat's ass what your dog looks like, I'm looking to date you, not your dog. Your profile stats say you if you like/have dogs. That's enough. Thank you.
- In all of your pictures, you are wearing sunglasses. I can't see your eyes, which means I can barely see your face. Extra idiot points if you are wearing sunglasses at night.
- In your main profile pic, you are wearing a fedora. This means you are bald or balding. As a member for less than 24 hours, I have been able to pick this out before even looking at the rest of their photos. Just put it out there right away guys, you can't hide it. Bald guys might not be my thing (I'm not shallow, I swear), but lots of girls like it, so own it!
- Guys who are total douches in their profile write up. Although I'm listing this as a pet peeve, because they sort of disgust me, I applaud them. At least they are upfront. Next!
- All of your pictures are of you doing something really far away. A few is fine, but again guys, we need to see what you look like. Your description is where you tell us all about your activities. I'll take your word for it.
- Any pictures where you are taking a picture of yourself with your phone in a mirror. None of these are acceptable. This screams I have no friends and don't like activities. People who know me, know that I'm not a huge fan of getting my picture taken, but I'd rather post some mediocre shots than the dreaded self taken phone pic.
- Any pictures where you are taking a picture of yourself with your phone in a mirror WITHOUT A SHIRT ON. Gross! I don't care how beefy your muscles are or how cool you think your reflection looks with all those tribal tattoos. No! No! No!
- When you say you are 29, but you look 40. Maybe it's just bad genes, but some of these dudes, no way...
- Is that a wedding ring? My mouth dropped open when I saw this, then the photo caption indicated it wasn't a wedding ring. Still...it wouldn't surprise me.
- You are 40+ and you message me to tell me how beautiful I am. I have gotten several of these already. It's very nice and the other three paragraphs you wrote are very nice as well. But...my profile clearly states I'm looking for someone ages 29-34. Maybe if you are 35 or even 36...but 42, I think not.
- Your profile goes on and on about what you are not looking for. We all have our baggage. Trust me, if I didn't, I wouldn't have a blog to write. But nothing is more of a turn off than a guy who is clearly bitching about his ex-girlfriend(s). Except maybe a 45 year old guy with with a camera phone profile pic of himself in a mirror. With the flash. With no shirt on.
- A message from a 40 year old guy that only says "i love you". Can we say creepy? I'm pretty sure he's jerking off to my pics as we speak.
- A message from the same 40 year old guy that says "some bunny loves you!". Whoa! Stalker!!! Serial killer? Guess he didn't get the clue when I didn't respond to his first profession of love like two hours ago. And you've been blocked.
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